海淀一模英语作文有何高分技巧？

作文示例 2026年1月22日 17:21:18 99ANYc3cd6 1 0

下面我将为你全面解析海淀一模英语作文,包括命题趋势、高分范文、实用技巧和备考建议。

海淀一模英语作文命题趋势分析

海淀一模的作文题目通常分为两种类型：应用文和读后续写/概要写作，从近几年北京高考的趋势来看，读后续写是重中之重，海淀一模也基本会延续这一风格。

（图片来源网络，侵删）

应用文

体裁多样：书信（建议信、感谢信、邀请信、道歉信等）、邮件、演讲稿、通知、倡议书等。
话题贴近生活：校园生活、文化交流、社会热点、个人成长、环境保护等。
特点：题目要求清晰，通常会给出提示性信息，如写作目的、读者对象、需要包含的要点等，考察学生的格式规范、语言得体、要点覆盖和逻辑连贯。

读后续写

体裁：记叙文。
特点：
- 故事性强：通常是一个情节完整、有起承转合的微型故事，人物关系清晰，情感线索明确。
- 语言地道：原文多使用生动、形象的描述性语言，为学生提供了模仿的范本。
- 留白巧妙：原文在故事高潮处戛然而止，为学生提供了巨大的创作空间，续写部分需要与原文的情节、人物性格、情感基调保持高度一致。
- 字数要求：通常要求续写两段，每段的开头句已经给出，学生需要围绕开头句展开情节。

高分范文与解析 (以2025年海淀一模读后续写为例)

为了让你有更直观的感受,我们以一个典型的读后续写题目为例，展示高分范文并解析其优点。

【2025年海淀一模读后续写题目】

（图片来源网络，侵删）

原文阅读：

A young man named Tom was walking through a dense forest when he heard a faint cry for help. Following the sound, he discovered a small, frightened rabbit trapped in a hunter's net. The rabbit looked at him with pleading eyes. Tom felt a surge of compassion and carefully set it free. As a token of gratitude, the rabbit nuzzled his hand before disappearing into the bushes. Tom smiled, feeling a warm glow in his heart. He continued his walk, but soon the sky darkened, and a heavy rain began to pour down. He had no umbrella and was soon soaked to the skin. Shivering, he spotted an old, abandoned cabin in the distance and hurried towards it for shelter.

(续写要求) Paragraph 1: When Tom pushed open the creaky door and stepped inside, he was surprised to find the cabin wasn't empty. ___

Paragraph 2: Just then, the door was pushed open again, and a group of people entered, carrying a large basket of food. ___

（图片来源网络，侵删）

高分范文

Paragraph 1: When Tom pushed open the creaky door and stepped inside, he was surprised to find the cabin wasn't empty. To his astonishment, the very same rabbit he had freed earlier was there, sitting calmly by a crackling fireplace. But it wasn't alone. Surrounding the rabbit were several other forest creatures—a wise old owl, a nimble squirrel, and a shy deer. They all turned to look at him, their eyes filled with an intelligence that seemed almost human. A wave of confusion washed over Tom. How could this be? He thought he was just a lost traveler, not a guest in some kind of forest meeting.

Paragraph 2: Just then, the door was pushed open again, and a group of people entered, carrying a large basket of food. Tom's heart leaped into his throat, expecting the worst. But to his surprise, these were no ordinary people. They were dressed in simple, earth-toned clothes, and their faces were kind and welcoming. The leader, a woman with a gentle smile, stepped forward and said, "We heard the storm and knew you'd be seeking shelter. We are the guardians of this forest. The rabbit told us you were a kind soul." Tom's eyes widened in disbelief. He looked from the woman to the animals, and then back again. A slow smile spread across his face as he realized that his small act of kindness had connected him to a magical world he never knew existed.

范文解析

这篇范文之所以能得高分,主要体现在以下几个方面：

情节连贯，逻辑合理
- 续写1：完美解释了“cabin wasn't empty”，作者没有让凭空出现人，而是巧妙地让兔子和其他动物先出场，这既呼应了前文，又为后文“森林守护者”的出现做了铺垫，动物们“充满智慧的眼神”为故事增添了奇幻色彩。
- 续写2：开门见山，解决了“人是谁”的悬念，这些人不是威胁，而是“森林守护者”，关键句 "The rabbit told us you were a kind soul" 直接点明了兔子报恩的情节，使整个故事浑然一体，逻辑闭环。
人物塑造丰满
- Tom：从最初的“困惑”（a wave of confusion）到最后的“微笑与顿悟”（a slow smile spread across his face），情感变化自然，展现了他从惊讶到接受再到融入这个奇妙世界的过程。
- 森林守护者：通过“gentle smile”和“kind and welcoming”等描写，塑造了善良、神秘的形象，与故事的奇幻基调相符。
语言生动，描写细致
- 高级词汇和短语：to his astonishment, crackling fireplace, nimble squirrel, heart leaped into his throat, earth-toned clothes, a slow smile spread across his face 等，这些词汇和短语提升了文章的档次。
- 感官描写：creaky door (听觉), crackling fireplace (听觉/视觉), soaked to the skin (触觉), gentle smile (视觉) 等，让读者身临其境。
- 句式多样：使用了简单句、复合句、非谓语动词等，句式富于变化，读起来流畅且有节奏感。
主题升华
- 故事的结尾,Tom意识到 "his small act of kindness had connected him to a magical world"，这不仅仅是一个奇幻故事，更升华了主题：善良是连接世界的桥梁，它会带来意想不到的美好回报，这使得文章立意更高远。

写作实用技巧与备考建议

读后续写技巧

仔细审题，吃透原文
- 划出关键信息：人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过、结果。
- 分析人物性格：主角和配角是怎样的性格？他们的行为逻辑是什么？
- 把握情感基调：故事是悲伤、欢乐、紧张还是温暖？续写必须保持一致。
- 找出伏笔：原文中是否有暗示性的词语或情节？这是续写的线索。
构思情节，紧扣开头
- 围绕第一句构思：第一句是“路标”，决定了第一段的方向，思考：谁在里面？他们在做什么？主角看到后会是什么反应？
- 预测合理结局：第二段要解决故事的主要矛盾或揭示谜底，结局要积极、温暖，符合主流价值观。
- 确保情节推进：续写部分要有新的发展，不能是原文内容的简单重复。
锤炼语言，模仿提升
- 模仿“高级感”：学习原文中描写动作、心理、环境的词汇和句式，用 limped 代替 walked with difficulty，用 a sense of relief washed over him 代替 he felt relieved。
- 善用“五感”描写：多从视觉、听觉、嗅觉、触觉、味觉入手，让你的描写更立体。
- 丰富句式：尝试使用倒装句、强调句、with复合结构、分词结构等，让你的语言更有表现力。
检查润色，避免低级错误
- 检查人称和时态：这是续写中最容易出错的地方，务必保持全文一致。
- 检查拼写和语法：确保没有明显的单词拼写错误和语法错误。
- 通读检查流畅度：大声读一遍，看看情节是否连贯，语言是否通顺。

备考建议

精读范文，而非泛读：找几篇优秀的读后续写范文，像分析课文一样，逐字逐句地分析它的情节构思、语言特点和结构安排。
建立“语料库”：分类整理描写人物、心理、动作、环境、情感的优秀词汇和句型。
- 心理描写：overwhelmed by a mix of emotions, a knot of anxiety tightened in his stomach
- 动作描写：he scrambled to his feet, he clutched the bag tightly
- 环境描写：a beam of sunlight pierced through the dark clouds, the leaves rustled in the gentle breeze
坚持练习，限时写作：每周至少练习1-2篇，严格按照考试时间（约40分钟）完成，锻炼构思和写作的速度。
寻求反馈，不断修改：写完后，可以请老师或英语好的同学帮忙批改，找出自己的问题所在，然后进行修改，好文章是改出来的。