上海一模英语作文有何备考要点？

解读：

• 基础分（16-18分）完整，语言基本无误，就能拿到，这是及格线。
• 高分（21-25分）：必须在“词汇与句式”和“结构与逻辑”上表现出色，你的文章需要有亮点，让阅卷老师眼前一亮。

第三部分：高分写作四步法（实战演练）

我们以一个典型的上海一模作文题目为例,走一遍完整的写作流程。

示例题目

Directions: Write an English composition in 120-150 words according to the instructions given below in Chinese.

学校就“中学生是否应该拥有智能手机”展开了一场讨论，请你用英语给校报编辑写一封信，表达你的观点，信中需包含以下几点：

1. 你是否支持中学生拥有智能手机。
2. 列出至少两条支持你观点的理由。
3. 提出一条合理化建议。

第一步：审题与构思 (2-3分钟)

这是最关键的一步,决定了文章的骨架。

1. 确定文体和格式：这是一封建议信/观点信，格式上要有称呼、正文、署名。

   
   （图片来源网络，侵删）
   • 称呼: Dear Editor,
   • Yours sincerely, / Sincerely yours,
   • 署名: Li Hua (假设你的名字是李华)

2. 明确核心观点：题目要求你表达观点，你需要先决定自己站在哪一边。

   • 观点A (支持)：智能手机是学习工具、沟通工具、信息获取工具。
   • 观点B (反对)：智能手机会分散注意力、影响视力、导致网络沉迷。
   • 观点C (折中)：支持拥有，但必须要有严格的管理和规定。（推荐！ 这种观点更显成熟和思辨性，更容易展开论述。）

3. 头脑风暴，列出理由：我们选择观点C。

   • 理由1 (正面)：作为强大的学习工具，可以查单词、看教学视频、使用学习App。
   • 理由2 (反面)：过度使用会分散学习精力，影响睡眠和健康。
   • 建议：学校和家长应共同制定使用规则，比如规定使用时间和内容。

4. 搭建文章结构：

   • 第一段 (引言)：表明写信目的，亮明核心观点（支持但有条件）。
   • 第二段 (主体)：分点论述理由，先说优点，再说弊端，体现思辨。
   • 第三段 (：重申观点，并提出具体建议，最后表达希望。

第二步：遣词造句，填充血肉 (8-10分钟)

在构思的基础上,开始用丰富的词汇和多样的句式进行表达。

第一段 (引言)

• 基础表达: I am writing to talk about... I think students should have smartphones.
• 高分升级:
  • "I am writing to express my views on the ongoing discussion..." (更正式)
  • "In my opinion, while smartphones offer undeniable benefits, I believe students should be allowed to own them under strict guidelines." (亮明折中观点，用 while 引导的从句，under strict guidelines 是亮点短语)

第二段 (主体)

• 理由1 (正面):

  • 基础表达: Smartphones are good for study. We can look up new words.
  • 高分升级: "First and foremost, smartphones can serve as powerful educational tools. With just a few taps, students can access a wealth of information, look up new words in online dictionaries, or watch educational videos to supplement their classroom learning." (使用 powerful educational tools, a wealth of information, supplement their classroom learning 等高级词汇和短语)

• 理由2 (反面):

  • 基础表达: But smartphones are bad. Students will play games and forget to study.
  • 高分升级: "However, this convenience comes with a potential risk of distraction. The allure of social media and games can easily divert students' attention from their studies, negatively impacting their academic performance." (使用 However 转折，comes with a potential risk of distraction, the allure of..., divert one's attention from..., negatively impacting... 等高级表达)

第三段 (结论与建议)

• 基础表达: So, we must have rules. For example, no phones in class.
• 高分升级: "Therefore, I advocate for a balanced approach. It is crucial for schools and parents to collaborate in establishing clear rules, such as designated hours for use and restrictions on phone usage during class and study time. Only in this way can we harness the advantages of smartphones while mitigating their drawbacks." (使用 Therefore, advocate for a balanced approach, collaborate in establishing, designated hours, harness the advantages, mitigate the drawbacks 等高级词汇和句式，特别是 Only in this way can we... 倒装句，是高分亮点)

第三步：检查与润色 (2-3分钟)

1. 内容检查：是否所有要点都覆盖了？观点是否明确？
2. 语言检查：
   • 语法：主谓一致、时态、冠词、介词等是否正确？
   • 拼写：有没有拼写错误？
   • 标点：逗号、句号使用是否正确？
3. 逻辑检查：段落之间、句子之间的连接是否流畅？有没有使用恰当的连接词？
   • First and foremost, However, Therefore, In conclusion
4. 字数检查：确保在120-150词之间。

第四步：誊写 (考试时)

保持卷面整洁,字迹工整，给阅卷老师留下良好的第一印象。

第四部分：高分范文与解析

Dear Editor,

I am writing to express my views on the ongoing discussion about whether middle school students should own smartphones. In my opinion, while smartphones offer undeniable benefits, I believe students should be allowed to own them under strict guidelines.

First and foremost, smartphones can serve as powerful educational tools. With just a few taps, students can access a wealth of information, look up new words in online dictionaries, or watch educational videos to supplement their classroom learning. However, this convenience comes with a potential risk of distraction. The allure of social media and games can easily divert students' attention from their studies, negatively impacting their academic performance.

Therefore, I advocate for a balanced approach. It is crucial for schools and parents to collaborate in establishing clear rules, such as designated hours for use and restrictions on phone usage during class and study time. Only in this way can we harness the advantages of smartphones while mitigating their drawbacks.

Yours sincerely, Li Hua

范文亮点解析：

1. 结构清晰：严格按照“引言-主体-的三段式结构，逻辑流畅。
2. 观点明确：开篇即点明“支持但有条件”，中间段落分别论述利弊，最后提出解决方案，体现了成熟的思辨能力。
3. 词汇丰富：
   • undeniable benefits (不可否认的好处)
   • strict guidelines (严格的指导方针)
   • powerful educational tools (强大的教育工具)
   • a wealth of information (海量信息)
   • supplement their classroom learning (补充课堂学习)
   • divert one's attention from... (转移某人对...的注意力)
   • negatively impacting... (对...产生负面影响)
   • advocate for a balanced approach (提倡一种平衡的方法)
   • collaborate in establishing (合作建立)
   • designated hours (指定的时间)
   • harness the advantages (利用优势)
   • mitigate the drawbacks (减轻弊端)
4. 句式多样：
   • 复合句: "In my opinion, while smartphones offer undeniable benefits, I believe students should be allowed to own them under strict guidelines."
   • 非谓语动词: "...to supplement their classroom learning."
   • 倒装句: "Only in this way can we harness the advantages of smartphones while mitigating their drawbacks." (这是全文的“点睛之笔”)

第五部分：备考建议

1. 积累素材：准备一个“高级表达本”，分类记录：
   • 开头/结尾句式
   • 过渡连接词 (However, Therefore, In addition, On the one hand...)
   • 主题相关词汇 (科技、环保、文化等)
   • 万能高分句型 (It is crucial that..., Only by doing... can we..., There is no denying that...)
2. 多读多背：阅读优秀的范文，不仅学习其内容，更要模仿其句式结构和用词，尝试背诵一些经典的段落。
3. 勤练多写：每周至少写一篇作文，严格按照考试时间进行，写完后，可以请老师批改，或者自己对照范文进行修改，找出差距。
4. 模拟练习：找几套一模真题，在规定时间内完成，体验考试节奏，培养时间管理能力。

希望这份详细的指南能对你有所帮助,祝你在一模和高考中取得优异成绩！